i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
