i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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