I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
