dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
