Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize