dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
