There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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