if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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