At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
