It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wish you could order shots online.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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