shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
