Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
