i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
