A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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