She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
