she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
