The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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