Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
