This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
