Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
