JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
