i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
