So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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