return my video game
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
