guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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