yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
