i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
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I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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