Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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