The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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