Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
