it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
