i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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