u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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