I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
