1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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