a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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