dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Swine flu is the new snow day.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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