Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
