I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
