So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
