No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
