your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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