Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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