And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
