the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
