I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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