the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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