you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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