OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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