I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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