I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
worst night to have a conscience
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
