I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
