If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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