Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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