Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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