Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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