Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
