They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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