he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
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That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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