Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
