And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
